I’m Jillian. A lot in my life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would, and in many of those situations I lacked the deep connection to God and His word that left me with no where to take my big heartbroken, unstable, angry and hurt feelings. That has always been my story: The girl with the big feelings. Even upon realizing my sensitive nature was a gift God entrusted to me, I still struggled and I suffered to keep my head above water. So in a broken state of confusion, I dug my feet into the foundation of God’s word determined to understand and get to know WHO was in control of my life (since it clearly was not me) and WHO created me this way. What I discovered changed everything. It started with humbling myself and praying the right prayer, which made me hunger for scripture, which then made me desire to find my people (the ones who really get me) in biblical community and do life with them in the way God intended us to. What I learned is that just praying and attending church was not enough. Being involved with God-loving people, but not reading God’s word left me feeling empty. And just choosing one or two and sprinkling the other one in was a cheap way to use a rich gift.
The bottom line is we all want to be the woman who remains steadfast in the uncertainties, disappointments and suffering, causing people to say “there is something different about her”. We have already received the invitation to be that woman. We just have to show up. We are on this journey together trying to figure out how to anchor ourselves to the truths that will equip us to experience the relentless love of God.
When we are free to choose what we think is best over a surrendered life with Jesus, we are not free. If you are in that place, I am glad you’re here because you are not alone. And I know this because I am living it. God does not leave us. God is big enough to handle our biggest feelings and no matter how ugly, sinful, or dark they might seem, they’re ok to feel. Let’s bring them to the Lord together. We are on this journey together, trying to figure it all out, tether to Jesus, anchor ourselves to the truths that will free us and equip us to lead others to the God’s reckless love.
supporter of the underdog
recovering people pleaser
type 1 diabetic
type 2 enneagram
friend of the tender-hearted
survivor of a strong-willed child (so far)
proud wife to a teacher
hallmark card cryer
terrible baker but excellent coffee maker
guilty of loving too hard
once a graphic designer always a graphic designer
forever changed by journals and Jesus
Are you looking for an outline to guide your scripture study?
I have loved using this one!