Just as good.

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We made a really joyful announcement yesterday on our person social media channels. Six month after our loss, God decided to bless us with a new gift. The more people find out, they would say, “WOW that was fast” in a “good for you!” tone. Maybe it was. All I know is the past 8 months have felt like a million years. We have never conceived quickly (TMI?) and we waited and prayed for both of our boys for forever it felt like. I have a few wrinkles (AND A GRAY HAIR THAT I PROMPTLY TOLD TO GO TO H - E - double hockey sticks ) to prove it. I feel heavy about sharing our joyous news about our sweet girl on the way. Not because I’m not completely blown away in the BEST WAY by God in this (I am so grateful I could burst), but because I just think about you and what you’re going through too.

Because this community is made up of women who have children, are trying for children, long for children, have lost children or choose to love others kids instead of having their own- I want to be sensitive in speaking on this. 

Where ever each of us is, we know that God is good and life is messy. It doesn’t always feel good, but it always feels messy. Let’s be honest about that. And I hope that we can all stand right where we are and know that even here, each of our stories has a purpose. Each of us is seen and loved and deeply known by God. No matter how far we try to push Him away. And I pray for grace for all of us that we can share our stories with a level of vulnerability that surpasses the differences in where we are in our different season.

Suffering is sacred. And it does things (good things) that I’m not sure joy can do. There is purpose for it and if we’re in it, it’s because we’re loved and wanted and desired and our Father wants us closer- not the opposite. If you’re hurting you’re not alone. And if you’re celebrating you’re not alone. We can do both together.

My point is even in the darkest and brightest moments and the many different seasons, let’s still do life together. Because even in our joy, we can grieve with together. Even in our grief, we can be joyous together. And if you’re not there yet, that’s ok too. You are not discounted because you are not where you want to be. You’re still chosen, seen and loved, even here.

Our sweet girl will be here in 2020. We are overjoyed. Terrified. At the end of the day though, If we want you to know anything about us, our story, how we’re doing or processing it all, we want you to know this. God is just as good in the loss as he is in the gift. And it’s our greatest privilege to get to share that. 

We would love your prayers as we continue to grieve and celebrate our newest gift. This is messy, but God’s got this. Always know I am praying for you too.

In this with you,

Jillian